Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Randomize
