you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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