Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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