so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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