i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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