He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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