if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
