Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
