She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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