hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
whose ass print is on the piano?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize