i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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