Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
The struggles of a small town man whore
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Randomize
