What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
