the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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