I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
