nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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