I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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