I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
