I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
