So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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