would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
