Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Randomize
