Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
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