I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
