That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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