too bad you live with your parents still
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
