as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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