I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Randomize
