I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
When did angry sex become our thing?
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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