Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize
