Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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