yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
