There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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