I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I have demons in me.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
