This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I touched a dick in church today
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
