I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
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