just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
