So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
