its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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