she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I forget how to act sober
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