Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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