I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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