Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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