Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
