that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
