does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
