I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
