It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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