i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
