Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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