So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
did i just pee glitter
Why are your pants in the freezer?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
